Waiting for the new life of Spring...

The last time I wrote I was on the floor (so to speak). It is a few weeks later and I remain on the floor, but with a different demeanor. I am still on the floor. I am still waiting. I have a little hope and am starting to see the light of resurrection. I am waiting for the Holy Spirit to empower me. To mobilize me. To restore my life.

While I am waiting I am also praying and thinking and reading. I am trying to reach out. There are some who do not know of my struggles, because they are so interior, and I hide them well. There are those who know of my struggles and do not care. There are those few who do care and for them I am eternally grateful. Because without them, I would not be able to even wait.

I'm glad the Easter Season is so long because even though Jesus was able to be resurrected in a flash and in only three days, my resurrection seems to be taking a whole lot longer. And rightly so, for I am not Jesus. I am but one of His lowly creatures.

For whatever reason God brought me into being out of love. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and that somehow, there is a gift I have that He wants me to bring to the world. I still don't know what it is because it doesn't matter which way I turn lately, I just hit a wall. I am in a perverbial maze, trying to find my way to the exit. What I will find at the exit, I am not sure, but I hope it is good. I am trusting that it is good.

I am not afraid of the struggle. I know God is with me and for whatever reason this is the journey He has me on. I have to be open. I have to try. I guess this will all make me into a better person if I hang in there long enough. I definitely subscribe to the "wounded healer" philosphy so by the time I am back to being me, I guess I might be a better healer. I just need the new life of Spring to kick in.

These are my thoughts for this morning.