Prayer Phobia

Prayer.  Now that is a very deep topic, isn't it?

What is prayer exactly? Well, simply put, one might say it is simply entering into a conversation or a time of communion with God.

If it is that simple, why are so many people afraid to try it? It isn't exactly the talking part of the conversation that people are afraid of. We all give God an earful - "God please give me this" or "God please do this for me", etc....  (I can see you smiling...you know what I'm talking about !)  The fear in prayer is the listening part.

Why are people afraid to listen to God in prayer? Quite simply, they are afraid because they actually might hear God talking to them, or God might say something to them that will freak them out....like "I want you to become a monk on a mountaintop in Mongolia and give up your computer, your car, and all your worldly possessions and leave immediately, and oh, by the way, give all your money away."  Seriously. Some people think God will ask them to radically change their lives.

Well, I must say, they are not all that wrong becuase God will ask them to radically change their lives in prayer, but not necessarily by moving to Mongolia.  God, being God, the wonderful Creator God of all things, knows exactly what we need and how to change us in prayer.  He doesn't want to freak us out. He wants us to grow closer to Him and He wants the best for us.

Have you heard the saying "Prayer doesn't change things, prayer changes people"? The change God evokes in us through prayer is often subtle, but over time and with perseverence in prayer we slowly become different people. So, if in time, God does want you to go to Mongolia and live on a mountaintop, you will start to desire it and you will joyfully go.   But most of the time, God keeps us where we are, but changes our hearts. The "Mongolian mountaintop" is a place we might go within the silence of our hearts and God will meet us there.

Now, the other fear people have is that they simply think they do not know how to pray. They think it is this complicated exercise for sainly or learned people. Prayer is the simplest of communication with God. At the very start, all one has to do is SIT and BE with God. I figured that out for myself when I was a teenager. I would sit and just BE. God was all around me. I would close my eyes and feel the breeze on my face and knew that it was God's breath on me, and my soul would smile and I was praying. That was prayer.

If you have never prayed before, just SIT and BE. Get yourself in front of the Blessed Sacrament in your parish or if you are far away from any church, sit outside in God's creation and just rest. Breathe. Become aware that you are already in the presence of God.  Frank Sheed in his  book "Theology and Sanity" once said that it isn't that "God is in everything" but that "Everything is in God".  We are always in the presence of God. Becoming aware of it means that prayer, communication with God, is always accessible.

So you see, there is nothing to fear when it comes to prayer.

Now, I also want to say that the other prayer phobia happens when people think they are too smart for God. Perhaps they are well versed in the things of our faith: they have read the Bible, the Catechism, the lives of the saints, and they have degrees coming out of their ears in theology. Sometimes people in this situation become phobic to prayer because they have made it so complicated that it has become a burden and perhaps even part of their job. So, they start to avoid it.

In this case, what has to happen is they need to get back to basics. Again, they have to just SIT and BE, but not say anything to God. No big prayers are needed. Jesus wants us to become like little children and it is very wonderful to want to learn all there is about Jesus - that should be our focus - but when we make it such a complicated thing, it starts to backfire on us.

When my little niece was learning the rosary, she would take the large beaded rosary, put in the children's video on the musical rosary, and she would jump up and down and spin around the room with the rosary. She would sing the hail mary and just have a good time with it. She smiled and twirled. I betcha God smiled a huge smile. That is what he wants ALL of us to do in his sight. Maybe we are too embarassed to spin around "at our age" for fear of looking like a fool, and I get that.....but there is no law against doing that in your soul !! When you pray, people might see an older person kneeling in serious prayer, but inside.....ah, inside....your spirit can be spinning and singing and involved in a simple and joyous communion with our loving God.

If we develop a fear of prayer and put it off because it is a burden, then the devil has won. We need to communicate with God because He wants to communicate with us. Talk....yes....tell Him what is on your heart, but then BE QUIET and listen......then when the listening and talking are over......spin and dance on the inside.

One more thing......I would advise that we should practice SURRENDERING  totally to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in prayer. It is in the surrendering in prayer, and the patiently waiting and perseverence, that brings us into a deeper relationship with Jesus. It may not seem like it at the time, or even for a while, but over time, like the water continuously flowing over a rock, our prayer life will become smoother. In the surrendering to God's will in prayer, we will become changed. We will more readily accept the changes God wants to create within us.

Ok, one more thing.....sometimes people get a prayer phobia if they feel that "nothing happens" when they pray. That is normal and to be expected. Sometimes that happens for a long time. Sometimes we are in a spiritual desert, but we have to keep persevering. Keep your prayer routine. Don't give up. Don't be afraid and remember that you are always IN the presence of God....sometimes maybe He doesn't want to talk....sometimes He might just want to sit and watch you spin !

"Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  .......  even if that ends up being a monk on a mountaintop in Mongolia !!