Wanting to be better....

Today I received a magazine from the "Sisters of Life". In this magazine are some beautiful articles. I don't know which sister wrote the following, but I wanted to share it with whoever is reading this blog today:

" Sometimes our friendship with God grows gently over a lifetime. At other times it begins with a striking experience of the beauty and goodness in life or of creation. Frequently, it is in moments of suffering that we experience God's presence and light breaking into our lives and with it an invitation to enter into His friendship. God reaches down into our darkness and pain and offers a hand, a way out. Sometimes it requires an act of trust, a leap of faith, at other times His presence is so tender and consoling that following Him seems easy, even irresistible. If we place our hand in His and begin to walk with Jesus, we find out lives begin to change. We want to be better so that we can receive more of Him, and His love draws us out of the narrow confines of ourselves. Gradually our hearts become purified and we find that we are less self-absorbed and more other-centered. Before we know it, what began as a spark has grown into a fire in our hearts......... Now there is no turning back. After tasting Godiva there is no going back to Hershey's without an awareness of what you are missing. Once we have tasted the sweetness of God's love, our desire for greater union grows until this friendship bvecomes the defining and driving force in our life. Friendship with God gives us the freedom to let go of the fears and grasping that keep us from opening up to Jesus and receiving all that life brings as a gift and mystery to be lived with Him."

I want to be better...........

Waiting for the new life of Spring...

The last time I wrote I was on the floor (so to speak). It is a few weeks later and I remain on the floor, but with a different demeanor. I am still on the floor. I am still waiting. I have a little hope and am starting to see the light of resurrection. I am waiting for the Holy Spirit to empower me. To mobilize me. To restore my life.

While I am waiting I am also praying and thinking and reading. I am trying to reach out. There are some who do not know of my struggles, because they are so interior, and I hide them well. There are those who know of my struggles and do not care. There are those few who do care and for them I am eternally grateful. Because without them, I would not be able to even wait.

I'm glad the Easter Season is so long because even though Jesus was able to be resurrected in a flash and in only three days, my resurrection seems to be taking a whole lot longer. And rightly so, for I am not Jesus. I am but one of His lowly creatures.

For whatever reason God brought me into being out of love. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and that somehow, there is a gift I have that He wants me to bring to the world. I still don't know what it is because it doesn't matter which way I turn lately, I just hit a wall. I am in a perverbial maze, trying to find my way to the exit. What I will find at the exit, I am not sure, but I hope it is good. I am trusting that it is good.

I am not afraid of the struggle. I know God is with me and for whatever reason this is the journey He has me on. I have to be open. I have to try. I guess this will all make me into a better person if I hang in there long enough. I definitely subscribe to the "wounded healer" philosphy so by the time I am back to being me, I guess I might be a better healer. I just need the new life of Spring to kick in.

These are my thoughts for this morning.