I have discovered that people will listen to anyone who speaks with authority, no matter how erroneous or stupid their point of view might be. Many in the world are truly sheep without a shepherd. That is how Hitler got so popular....he had a strong voice and was arrogant. He took control and people just blindly followed him. They were looking for a leader and had no real moral compass within their hearts. So they blindly, and stupidly followed. Pride comes before the fall as they say.
So what are we to do? We have to pray and discern so when the wolf comes in sheep's clothing, we will know not to follow, and likewise, that we will know who to follow.
The problem: People don't take time for silence, for self-reflection, and most importantly, for prayer.
The result: a lot of stupid people following stupid leaders.
Feb 25, 2011
Feb 10, 2011
1,000,000,000 Piece Puzzle
Lately I've been trying to put the pieces of my Life puzzle together. It is certainly a task of gargantuan proportions. However, I am making progress. Jesus is at the center of my life and of my life puzzle.
Once upon a time my Life Puzzle was all put together. It was all connected and sat proudly on display on a sturdy card table. Then one day out of the blue, someone walked by and knocked the table over. The puzzle slid off and crashed onto the floor. There were puzzle pieces everywhere....some even under the couch, or the corner of the rug. Some might even be lost forever.
Regardless of the mess and the anger and sadness I felt about my Life puzzle coming apart, I knew I had to get busy and try to put it together again. After all, it was once together so it can be together again. This is my hope anyway.
I am working on the puzzle. In rebuilding it, I am finding that it is a bit harder is taking more time than I thought. I have a chunk of it done now. I still have more to do. I can see Jesus in the middle again, but the part of the puzzle that has the two of us fully united is still missing. I can only see a part of myself in the puzzle. The part of my Life puzzle with the church in it is still quite incomplete too.
The puzzle will get done. I am sure of that. I just wish I had a few more people to help me put it together. It also would go faster if I had more support, validation, and encouragement.
It would also be good if I could feel that putting my Life Puzzle back together ultimately mattered to someone other than myself.
Once upon a time my Life Puzzle was all put together. It was all connected and sat proudly on display on a sturdy card table. Then one day out of the blue, someone walked by and knocked the table over. The puzzle slid off and crashed onto the floor. There were puzzle pieces everywhere....some even under the couch, or the corner of the rug. Some might even be lost forever.
Regardless of the mess and the anger and sadness I felt about my Life puzzle coming apart, I knew I had to get busy and try to put it together again. After all, it was once together so it can be together again. This is my hope anyway.
I am working on the puzzle. In rebuilding it, I am finding that it is a bit harder is taking more time than I thought. I have a chunk of it done now. I still have more to do. I can see Jesus in the middle again, but the part of the puzzle that has the two of us fully united is still missing. I can only see a part of myself in the puzzle. The part of my Life puzzle with the church in it is still quite incomplete too.
The puzzle will get done. I am sure of that. I just wish I had a few more people to help me put it together. It also would go faster if I had more support, validation, and encouragement.
It would also be good if I could feel that putting my Life Puzzle back together ultimately mattered to someone other than myself.
Feb 4, 2011
A mirage or an oasis?
From out here in the Sahara of my soul, I am starting to see something in front of my spiritual eyes, and there is a feeling arising within me. However, I don't want to trust my feelings because they can be deceptive sometimes. Still though, some say to "go with your gut". Sometimes I say that too.
I've had a couple of moments this week of thinking I can see something in the desert. The thing is, I don't know if it is a real oasis, or a mirage - a figment of my imagination or something that I want to see so badly that I'm letting my mind's eyes manufacture it. I have to discern this further.
Lately my wandering in the desert has had me walking in circles. Just when I think I'm getting closer to leaving it, I find myself smack dab back in the middle. It can be frustrating. There are glimpses of hope and release, but then just as soon as they are there, they are gone again. It is like I'm being teased, and I don't think that can be of God. God doesn't play games like that. The evil one does.
So, I am waiting. Some days it is like I'm sitting alone. Other days I know Jesus is nearby, just not visible. Other days the Eucharist speaks volumes to me and reaches into my desert space for a short time. Those moments are oxygen for my soul. (Manna from Heaven for one wandering in the desert.) Sometimes I might even have a visit from a couple of sheep and find a shepherdesses staff in my arms, but there is no direction provided for me to lead the sheep. I feel so inadequate to be given this responsibility. So, I find myself waiting with my little spiritual flock of sheep in silence, and I talk to them and let them know I am confused. They do not wander away from me because they are relying on me, and yet I have nothing to give them. So, we are hanging out together, waiting and praying. This may not make sense to the reader, but it makes sense to me.
I am waiting. I am praying. I am trying to understand and discern. I am hungrily grabbing any spiritual food that comes my way in order that I may not starve, but it flows through me and leaves, as if in a seive. I have been asking for spiritual sustenance in ways other than the Eucharist. I think I have been quite clear about my needs. However, it seems like my little baby-bird-in-the-nest tweets to Mother Church seem to fall on deaf ears these days; but that may just be because I am deaf myself, and perhaps blind too.
Perhaps Jesus is speaking loudly to me right now and I cannot hear Him? Perhaps it is my sinfulness getting in the way? Perhaps it is my state of mind and the confusion I tend to experience often? Perhaps though, the church is just not able to respond to my needs at this time because it is a bit out of reach, a bit exclusive, a bit of a clique ? I don't know. I should not try to analyze things so much.
I am trying to just BE in his presence and to be patient. Since I continue to exist, I know He is thinking of me and I should be satisfied with that. Perhaps just knowing He is thinking of me is my oasis..... sigh........I don't know.
Anyway, these are my thoughts for this evening. I am feeling confusion coming upon me now so I better stop.
I've had a couple of moments this week of thinking I can see something in the desert. The thing is, I don't know if it is a real oasis, or a mirage - a figment of my imagination or something that I want to see so badly that I'm letting my mind's eyes manufacture it. I have to discern this further.
Lately my wandering in the desert has had me walking in circles. Just when I think I'm getting closer to leaving it, I find myself smack dab back in the middle. It can be frustrating. There are glimpses of hope and release, but then just as soon as they are there, they are gone again. It is like I'm being teased, and I don't think that can be of God. God doesn't play games like that. The evil one does.
So, I am waiting. Some days it is like I'm sitting alone. Other days I know Jesus is nearby, just not visible. Other days the Eucharist speaks volumes to me and reaches into my desert space for a short time. Those moments are oxygen for my soul. (Manna from Heaven for one wandering in the desert.) Sometimes I might even have a visit from a couple of sheep and find a shepherdesses staff in my arms, but there is no direction provided for me to lead the sheep. I feel so inadequate to be given this responsibility. So, I find myself waiting with my little spiritual flock of sheep in silence, and I talk to them and let them know I am confused. They do not wander away from me because they are relying on me, and yet I have nothing to give them. So, we are hanging out together, waiting and praying. This may not make sense to the reader, but it makes sense to me.
I am waiting. I am praying. I am trying to understand and discern. I am hungrily grabbing any spiritual food that comes my way in order that I may not starve, but it flows through me and leaves, as if in a seive. I have been asking for spiritual sustenance in ways other than the Eucharist. I think I have been quite clear about my needs. However, it seems like my little baby-bird-in-the-nest tweets to Mother Church seem to fall on deaf ears these days; but that may just be because I am deaf myself, and perhaps blind too.
Perhaps Jesus is speaking loudly to me right now and I cannot hear Him? Perhaps it is my sinfulness getting in the way? Perhaps it is my state of mind and the confusion I tend to experience often? Perhaps though, the church is just not able to respond to my needs at this time because it is a bit out of reach, a bit exclusive, a bit of a clique ? I don't know. I should not try to analyze things so much.
I am trying to just BE in his presence and to be patient. Since I continue to exist, I know He is thinking of me and I should be satisfied with that. Perhaps just knowing He is thinking of me is my oasis..... sigh........I don't know.
Anyway, these are my thoughts for this evening. I am feeling confusion coming upon me now so I better stop.
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