Lenten thoughts

I was listening to a sister on EWTN this afternoon. She was talking about joy in suffering. My ears perked up because right now I am undergoing some issues with suffering myself. She seemed to think that if we could be content with the suffering coming our way, then somehow it was heroic virtue, and the suffering could be meaningful and help us grow in holiness.

I am thinking about what she said. We are all called to be saints. I want to be a saint too, although I am so far from it at this point in my life. Saints suffer with a contentment willingly. I don't do it willingly and I don't know how to do it willingly. I need instruction and guidance with this. I suppose it probably has something to do with connecting it with Christ's passion.

I am trying to lift up my suffering for the souls in purgatory. I am trying to see that my suffering is also due to some attacks from the enemy. Some of it is due to attacks from others. Some of it is due to myself. I am praying for deliverance on all three counts. I am praying the prayer of St. Michael. All other prayer has been quite impossible, although I have tried. My lips mouth the prayers, but I can't concentrate on what I am saying.

Today's gospel reading focuses on the Holy Spirit leading Jesus into the desert. I am still in my spiritual desert, but today those words resonated with me because it was the HOLY SPIRIT that led Jesus to the desert, not the evil one.

Here I was blaming my being in the desert to everything but the Holy Spirit. But it is His fault. He has used others and circumstances to plop me into the middle of the desert. He wants me to be in the desert right now just as He wanted Jesus to be in the desert. Jesus rebuked the temptation and attacks. I don't think I've been that strong to be able to do the same. Why does he want me to be in the desert ? Purification perhaps? I need that.

Jesus, please help me through this desert. Send me the help that I need. Give me courage if no help will be forthcoming. Please preserve my spiritual life and my relationship with the Church that I love.