Notes from the floor

In the book of Jeremiah, God talks about tearing down so he will build up. Also in Jeremiah, God presents to us the image of the potter and the clay. If the potter is not satisfied with the pot he is making he starts over. During these last few months, I have been torn down. At this moment, I am laying on the floor (figuratively speaking of course), totally broken, waiting for God to build up and make me into a different pot. The process of being broken was very painful. Right now, laying on the floor, I have nothing to do but wait. I cannot do anything outside of what God is willing for my life right now. So I wait. I wait to be built up. This period of being totally broken, of being "dead", is an interesting one. On one level I am powerless to do anything of my own accord. I can only lay here, surrendered totally to Jesus...waiting. On another level the only thing I can do, if you call it doing much, is pray. I pray to be built up again. I pray for patient endurance. I pray to not fall into despair. I pray for the Holy Spirit to come. Since this is Holy Week and next Sunday we will celebrate the resurrection, I am hoping that God will bless me with a bit of a personal resurrection. I pray that He will take my broken parts and pull them into His very being. If I no longer exist on my own that will be fine...I just need to know I am in His care. If I have Jesus, I have everything...because no matter who comes to destroy me - be it the Church, representatives of the church, my family, society, health issues....as long as I have Jesus, I have everything I need.