Shooting for sainthood and missing....

How many saintly people are living in your church? Your neighborhood ? Your family ? Your workplace? Are you a saintly person? I want to be, but sadly, I am not. It isn't for lack of trying. I just don't think I have it in me to be a saint. If I ever make it to sainthood though I will probably be the patron saint of mistakes, or those having trouble keeping their mouths closed, or for those who eat too much chocolate after 6 PM. Realistically though, I think they would make me the patron saint of dead animals on the road because every time I see a dead animal on the road I say a prayer for it. Seriously.

But, let's get on with the topic of living a saintly life, shall we? Do you know any holy people? I know three. I can never be as good or holy as they are. They are always even tempered. I am not. They have confident faith on a consistent basis. I do not. They are optimistic in times of trouble. I am not.

I have a deep desire inside to be a saint, but the realities of life are strongly proving me otherwise. Sometimes I think I should just live in the confessional. I should wear a t-shirt that just says "I'm sorry" every day.

I keep thinking that if I pray enough I will eventually change. I have made some changes, but it is gruelingly slow work. God doesn't make junk, and I believe that. I am not junk. But He is the potter and I am the clay, and I think He will have to break me back down and start me back up on the potter's wheel many times over before I will even resemble being a saint.

I am not going to give up though. I may cry oceans of tears before it happens, but that is my goal. I am counting on all the promises we have been given - God's grace, peace, mercy and justice. Plus we have all the Sacraments. Today I asked the Holy Spirit to pour out His gifts on me so I can be who I am called to be.

We'll see. If I can just get through tomorrow without putting my foot in my mouth or being overly sensitive about something, I will consider that a victory towards my cause of sainthood.

Lord Have Mercy. Jesus, I trust in You.