Cast your nets out into the deep...

I think those were Jesus' words to his disciples. He wanted them to cast their nets out into deeper waters and when they did, he blessed them.

That makes me think about how superficial our world is. People talk about all sorts of benign, meaningless things a lot of the time. (I'm including myself in this). As it is with how depth of prayer gets us closer to Jesus, so too does depth of conversation with one another get us into a closer relationship with each other,, and ultimately with God. That's the way I see it anyway.

I have an instense desire for deep conversation about life, its meaning, about all things that have to do with God and our faith, and things of a philosophical nature. I am not a great mind, but I have a desire to have a great mind and these things interest me greatly. The problem is the people with the great minds don't have time to have interns like myself, or they don't have the interest. So, many times I end up reading things that make me think but then I get frustrated because I think when I try and share my thoughts w/ people they get annoyed with me or they think I am a tad off my rocker for wanting to discuss such things.

As far as my small business goes, I have begun my "slow season", which means through the next several winter months I will have more free time. Less money of course, but more free time. I aim to do a lot more reading this winter and more praying. I am going to write, think, and do art work and plan for the next phase of my life. I know....if you want to make God laugh, make plans.... but I will bring my plans before Him in the Blessed Sacrament along the way.

I want more wisdom. I want to know and hang around really great and inteligent and holy people.

Why is life going so fast right now? Yes, my time is a little more free now, but still in general, our world is going so fast. I know I have to purposely choose to make time for things. But for a lot of the time it is as if life's responsiblities have multiplied and we are tricked into thinking that we need all sorts of electronic gadgets, or be involved in things 24/7 that we have no time to breathe or no time for real relationships.

I have been trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to build more relationships with people who I can talk to about the type of topics I have metnioned here, but it is very difficult these days. Married people are, well, married so they have little free time. Single w/ children people have kids to worry about so they have almost no time. Teachers, priests, doctors, authors, administrators have very little time as well.

I should stop complaining. I really should. Who am I to even have such deep desires? I am not even a speck on the bottom of the sandal of Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

Perhaps I am not called to cast my net into the deep waters...perhaps I am called to just float on the waves above. I don't know. I will have to pray about this.

I should just be quiet and know "my place", wherever that is.

So, I think I will. (at least until the next blog topic pops in my mind.)