A week of restless leaves

It is Palm Sunday night. Holy Week has begun. My favorite week of the year. It is a hard week too. It is busy for priests because of everything they have to provide for us. For me, as much as I look forward to it, Holy Week is usually a restless time.

It is sort of like walking down a dirt path on a beautiful day. Woods on either side. The air is calm, then all of a sudden a breeze kicks up and the leaves scatter, twist, and twirl in front of me on the path. Dust is kicked up. There is some unsettledness before me. Holy Week is like that. Unsettled.

We have to go through all the unsettling feelings this week to get to Easter Sunday. The challenge of Holy week is to let our souls become restless...to let the dust and leaves kick up around our feet so that we pay closer attention to where we are supposed to be going.

Holy Week, not called that in Jesus' day of course, was very restless for Jesus. He had the excitement and activity of Palm Sunday, everyone rejoicing in His presence, praising Him, and smiles everywhere. And then, just a few days later, the Passover meal with his disciples, the institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood, the washing of the feet, then the agony in Gethsemane, His arrest, beating, and being thrown before the authorities of the day. Then, the crucifixion, death, silence in the tomb, and then an explosion of life in the resurrection.

It is no wonder that I feel restless. My soul wants to ponder all of these events, to walk through them with Jesus, to show my love for Him, but also to become one with Him in as much as I am able to as a mere creature. To enter into Holy Week for me is to enter into the joy of the chrism Mass on Tuesday, then plunge to the depths of the crucifixion, and then to rise with him on Easter.

At this moment, I am crying on the inside, not the outside, at least not yet. My soul enters this week with joyful, yet dreaded anticipation. Will I have the strength and courage to let the Holy Spirit kick up the leaves in my soul so that I may grow in faith and rise to higher heights in my faith on Easter Sunday? Or will I walk on this path with my eyes closed to avoid the leaves and dust before me? I pray I have the courage to keep my eyes open.

I have to trust that behind the restless leaves, there is the Holy Spirit, kicking up the breeze to catch not only the leaves and dust, but to pick up my soul as well and to bring it to another place.