T.M.C.A.M.

T.M.C.A.M. = "Too much coming at me".

Today was a very hectic day. This year has been a hectic year. Today I was so busy at my J.O.B. and on the way home I started to get some little twinges of stress in my chest. All my muscles were so tight in my body.

It made me think that ya never know when someone will croak and leave this earth. You know that saying that at the end of their lives, some people say they regreted spending too much time at the office. Too much work. That is what 2010 is like for so many people, me included.

How do we get off of this monstrous ferris wheel that we've gotten ourselves on? I got off once - for four years. I was an entrepreneur. It was very tough financially. I was really poor, but God got me through. However, my days had a flow to them and I had more freedom than having to work 9 - 5. I worked hard, but it was a different hard than what I do now. I want to be an entrepreneur again and have to start working towards that goal. I have a plan too and I will start putting it into practice after Thanksgiving when my schedule shold calm down a little bit.

But I was thinking of my death...when would it happen? Not that I want to know, but when my chest started twinging today I thought "wow, what if I'm having a heart attack?". Of course I wasn't, but it made me think.... in the course of my thinking I figured that people would miss me maybe a week and then I'd be forgotten. Sad, but true. But, they may miss me a whole month at work until they find someone to take my position. Other than that...someone would eventually take over my spot in the third pew in front of the tabernacle and my memory would probably very quickly fade away.

I did buy a grave plot this year, well, I'm paying on it. It is in a lovely spot. It is on a little slope, with a tree with white flowers in the springtime. I wanted a little view since I'd be there until the second coming ! LOL ! It is in my neighborhood too so when I rise for the final judgement I will know where I am. LOL !

However, I digress....lately there is just too much coming at me. Too much stimulation. Too much "in my face". I hardly know where to turn next. It doesn't matter if it is at home or work, I have so many responsibilities right now. I truly think that I will have to take a day off from work next week just to try and slow down a bit and get some things done.

So, this is too long. I don't even know who I am writing to. I don't know if anyone is reading my little blog. Probably not, but I am tossing it out in cyber space. It is a different way of journaling and despite what I write from my heart, it is very edited and not too personal. At least I don't think it is.

This is just my opinion anyway.